Author's Notes: (may include minor fic spoilers!)
**These notes are probably just going to be self-indulgent ramblings about writing, and no one has to read it, but I feel like I should say it anyway, so ;P
This fic was an absolute triumph for me to write. It is my longest finished Wincest fic yet - in fact, my longest finished anything! But, despite some typical, it's-not-perfect jitters, I truly feel that this is the absolute best it can be.
Many apologies for the beginning part with Tessa, and all the other straight-from-cannon rewrites. The idea for this story actually came from me wanting to write, for myself, kind of a character study of Dean where I analyzed exactly how he'd be thinking and feeling during that conversation with Tessa, to try and figure out how he'd answer her final question, since we never hear hime say anything in the show. When I decided to flesh out the idea of Dean staying and being a spirit, I fought to start right after Dean's death several times, but I kept finding myself backtracking anyway to explain exactly what I meant, so then I just said "Fuck it" and put it all in there. And as for the rest of the episodes I stole dialogue from, I've got a thing when I write fanfic, apparently, that it has to fit as seamlessly as possible into the canon OR be a complete AU, but no middle ground. So if I wanna play off a canon guest star's character or comments, I have to attack the awesomeness that is the Super-Wiki and find the EXACT effing quotes. So yeah, sorry if that got annoying, but that's just where it took me :)
Title from the Snow Patrol song "Set the Fire to the Third Bar," which for whatever reason became this fic's anthem, as for a long time I either 1) could only write if it was playing or 2) rushed to my laptop the second I heard it start playing, as I became filled with inspiration. I can pretty much never listen to that song AGAIN (can you say "over-played"?), but much thanks to Snow Patrol for recording it, even through they have NO idea what it did (or contributed to hehe).
This fic would not and could not exist were it not thanks to a lot of people:
My structure/grammar beta and my ultimate cheerleader: Grandma and Daddy, respectively (proper thanks given to them in the here)
My characterization/story betas: corri_kun, greg_terpening. They cheered me on and helped me feel truly finished with the story by providing support and encouragement.
My family and friends who knew I was doing this and cheered me on (even though
And we mustn't forget the amazing madhatterpan, who gave me my first outside feedback and worked so hard to make me such wonderful art! You're amazing, and I adored working with you!! (and props for putting up with my meddling - I was trying hard not to pry, honest!!)
The aforementioned AWESOME website and its handlers at the Super-Wiki. If you haven't checked it out before, you owe it to yourself to GO. They know all. (And be a nerd like me and follow them on Twitter! :D )
And last but as far from least as humanly possible, thanks to the spn_j2_bigbang mods, wendy and thehighwaywomanthehighwaywoman, for staging this amazing challenge and giving me the opportunity to truly challenge myself. There were many times during this that I really didn't think I'd make it, very nearly called the whole thing off, but pulling through has only made me grow as a writer. Thanks so, so, SO much!!
Also, a great many thanks to liamelessar who made me PDF files of each chapter! Just comment or PM me with your email, and I'd be more than happy to share them.
Current Mood: accomplished